Do you have a job already?

This is the question I have heard the most the last weeks. Whenever I get it I take a deep breath and answer: no, not yet.

I have been searching for a job since the end of August making a total of 15 applications sent to this day. The lesson that I wasn’t expecting to realize is that finding a job in Germany is a job itself and that is the job I will have for a few months. In these months I have to keep being patient and persistent and so far, that has not been easy.  Some weeks I am and some weeks I am not.

When I am none of the above, I cry and I cry because I feel frustrated; anxious and impatient. This was something I was not prepared to, I mean, of course, I knew it was going to be a challenge but all the things that start crossing your mind start to become overwhelming.

When I feel overwhelmed, I give myself permission to cry. When I cry, I feel all these feelings leaving my body through my tears and these tears actually give me power.

They give me power when I reach the bottom because they help me remember everything that I have already overcome. They help me remember all the things I want to do. All the things I want to experience. All the places I still have to visit. Things that this job, this job I am working on finding will help me accomplish and finding a job, a good, well-paid job will take time.

After I dry my tears, everything falls into place once again. This too shall pass and I am the only person that will take me out of it, so Izmir: suck it up and only then I also happen to realize that the question Do you have a job already? is the way in which my family and friends remind me of this and the only thing that is left is to keep on going.

“A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor”

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